What Seattle Freeze?
On (Christian) hospitality and how it has held me from the moment I arrived in Seattle
There’s this term “Seattle freeze,” which is a stereotype about how difficult it is to make new friends in Seattle (particularly as a transplant) because people there can be cold and standoffish, but this is the exact opposite of my experiences in the city.
My mom had several worries about my move to Seattle: how was I going to get my mattress from an old friend who could not deliver it to my new place herself, would I be lonely on Thanksgiving since I was only coming home for Christmas (plane tickets from WA to VA are expensive), so many other things. My mom worries about my sister living on her own, and she’s lived in DC (1-2 hours from their home) for a decade. So of course my mom worries about me being on the other side of the country. But I assured her that I would have an immediate support system in Seattle (not even taking into account the friends I made during my Episcopal Service Corps Year in Seattle from Sep. 2020-June 2021): church.
Not just the actual church I attend, but the whole community of Christians that I know. My first big logistical issue with the move was solved by one of my gay Christian friends. I had already bought my plane ticket for July 20th because the landlords initially told me that was when I could move in, but then they told me there was some cleaning and repairs that needed to be done, so my lease wouldn’t start until July 27th. My mom was stressed about this, but after asking a few people, I found out one of my friends, a fellow gay Bible nerd (his bookshelf was awesome, so many of fave theology books and memoirs!) was going on a work trip the week I needed to crash, so I stayed in his place for the week.
For the issue with the mattress, I knew that my actual church would be the right place to ask around. I technically joined the First United Methodist Church of Seattle (“First Church”) during my service year, virtually. I never attended a service in person before this past Sunday. But I knew I would be able to walk in and find someone with a car big enough to hold a queen size mattress and ask them if they could help me. The night before I went to the service, I had met a bunch of young adults at a game night and it was so much fun—one of them kept quoting obscure Bible verses and I told her we were going to be great friends. After the service, there was a Pride + Faith group that held a lunch, so I got connected with queer folks in the church immediately! And one of them had a minivan and was able to come in the afternoon on move-in day to transport the mattress 😊. Said new friend is also organizing for Shannon Kearns to speak at the church in October and will be running a queer theology small group in September around Shannon’s book and OMG, I will nerd out.
And to top it all off, the neighbors living in the level above us (it’s a duplex) are affirming Christians! I felt relief in every part of my body when I mentioned to one of them that I wanted to advance LGBTQ+ inclusion in the church and he said he thought that was great.
In the evening on move-in day, my friend and fellow podcaster Josh1 helped me move furniture around. I loved getting to connect with him in person (I had him on my podcast Reclaiming the Garden in April) and his wife so kindly bought me fancy hot chocolate mix and a gift card to a local organic market as a welcome gift.
It felt so good to have an immediate sense of community and new friendships and opportunities. I’m looking forward to my new life here.
How have you experienced hospitality this week, whether that was from a person of faith or no faith? How have you felt held in community? And if you haven’t, feel free to share that, too. All stories are welcome here.
He is one of the hosts of Ravel Podcast, part of the faith deconstruction podcast ecosystem. Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ravel/id1528109104